Review and Response: three star review

The following is a new review of my book, Deliberate Love. It is an honest review, but one which I would like to respond to.  First the review, then the response.
“This book is well written and edited. I liked the setting in Edinburgh / Canada and the characters. Two things I didn’t like: first the implication that if you set your mind to it you can change being gay/straight. I am sure that there is much more fluidity between the two extremes than most are prepared to admit (although the McKinsey studies were quite clear about it), but since fundamentalists esp. in the US go to extreme lengths on this position and hurt people I would have liked a bit more complexity on this question. Secondly, this was all sweet, easy romance without any hassle and tension. I get the point that the author wants to promote but still life happens and it is not always only sweet and easy. Esp. in a novel I would like to see some “dramatic” development – it doesn’t need to be drama.
And BTW this novel takes the lesbian u-haul-joke to a new level.
Ok, now to respond to the critique.  “This book is well written and edited. I liked the setting in Edinburgh / Canada and the characters.”  Thank you for that.  I am pleased with this.
Now to address the two areas of disappointment for you. #1. “the implication that if you set your mind to it you can change being gay/straight.”  Obviously, I did not make the point clear in the book.  At no time did I say any such thing, nor did I ever intend to. I tried to make the point that one can overcome, if one so desires, the natural inclination one way or the other.  Colleen knows Brianna is heterosexual, and always will be. Brianna will always be attracted to men, but she loves Colleen, and so must focus her attention there. I know this can be done because the woman I have been married to for fifteen years is actually heterosexual.
You cannot change what you are. If you are gay, that’s what you are, but you can be whoever you choose to be. I believe this because I live this, my life is good and sweet and K says the same. 
More tension, fair to say.  I wrote this at a time of great tension in my personal life, so I guess I wanted to create a place of peace. Bad idea for a writer, duly noted.  I will try harder, I promise.
#2 Dramatic development.  Ok, it didn’t work for you, I accept this.  It didn’t make it for you.  I promise to try harder next time.  Thanks for the critique.
Now, the lesbian U-Haul joke?  I don’t understand, what joke?

5 thoughts on “Review and Response: three star review

  1. The lack of tension and combative behavior between the couple in this story was one of the parts I liked the most. After all, every story follows that tired old outline where a person hates their love to be, then loves them, then fights with them regularly and then have fun making up. It is very worn out, and I am very glad to see a new story breaking away from the trend. I think too many people in our world don't realize that perfect relationships can and do exist, and conflict is not a necessary part of a loving relationship. I've been married for ten years and we have still never had a fight. The love I felt for her when we married has continued to mature and bloom into a much deeper bond. I much prefer the stories that show a successful union, instead of a regularly fractured one.

    I agree completely with your opinion that a person can choose a companion who is not of the gender they are attracted to. These kind of relationships are based on personal attraction, not just a general response from genetic programming. I definitely did not get the impression from this story that you were trying to imply sexuality was just a choice, and not a natural trait.

    I wouldn't want you to change a thing with this story.


  2. Supreme Chancellor, Thank you for your comment. I do agree that harmonious relationships do exist, for I know a number of couples like this. They don't fight with each other, they work together to mutually solve the daily issues that arise.
    The reason is, in my opinion, these marriages are based on love, not lust. Love and lust are not the same thing. They can, and do, work well together, but they are not the same thing.
    Thanks again.

  3. Well, Prudence, when you submit a book for review, I guess you gotta be ready for anything … no one is ever going to see it 'exactly' like you had in your head … and, even if they do, you just never know how they will react. Oh, and remember, no publicity is bad publicity.

    Darn, I was hoping you'd explain the 'U-Haul joke'.

  4. OK … So a Fundamentalist Preacher, a Norwhal and a lesbian go into a U-Haul dealer. The lesbian says "My wife and I are moving and we'd like to rent a truck". The Preacher mumbles something disparaging about same sex relationships and the Norwhal says " Hey bud. Ya got some kind of stick up your butt. No?
    Well I am just the guy to fix that if you don't change your attitude … Illumination by Smokey 🙂

  5. I know the joke the reviewer is talking about 🙂 an oldy but an almost goody about the fast-moving nature of a stereotypical lesbian relationship…

    Q: What does a Lesbian bring to the second date?
    A: A U-Haul *Ba-Dum-Tssh!*

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