Avoid the Drama

Hi folks, this is an old post revisited, but it bears another look. Events of recent days has brought this home to me once again. For some people, it is all about the drama, but who needs it really?
We all have drama in our lives, we can’t escape it completely.  We can, however, avoid a lot of it, and the more we practice, the more we can escape it.  Drama, for the most part, is the work of an ego that is desperately seeking attention.  This is a distraction that we do not need.  Drama is like a fog that clouds your view, your judgment, and destroys your sense of well being.  It blocks your ability to learn, to focus externally, and is almost always focused on the negative.
For example, we all know people who, with their load of drama to share, can suck the energy from a room faster than a vacuum cleaner can pull dog hair off a hardwood floor.  The trick is to avoid getting pulled into the vortex they create.  We don’t always get it right, but we can get better with practice. We must, for drama will destroy the joy that every day can bring, and this is turn can destroy the body.  You have all seen a face that has been angry for years.  That negativity is etched deeply into the face and body posture, and you can be sure there are internal signs of it as well.
Here’s an example:  Years ago I was on the ferry boat leaving Vancouverand headed for Victoria. As the boat pulled away from the dock, I sat back to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, people watching.  I watched as two men entered the lounge and sat next to each other.  One opened his newspaper while his companion relaxed back with a book.  A few moments later the man with the paper began to frown, his face darkened, his grip on the paper tightened, and he started to mumble. Drawing his companion’s attention, he stabbed a finger at the newspaper page and spoke.  His companion nodded, then returned to his book, smiling as he continued to read.
This was repeated several times on that two hour journey.  Newspapers are especially crafted, as are news casts on radio, television, and internet news, to draw strong emotion from the reader/viewer.  They filled with drama.  Over the course of that short journey, the man with the paper continuously had his emotions manipulated by the stories he chose to read while his companion enjoyed the trip by choosing to avoid all that drama and read a book that made him smile. By avoiding the drama he was able to have a much more enjoyable trip.
I know it is hard to avoid the drama when it is in the room with you, carried by family and friends, but you must. Only by keeping apart from the drama can you remain non-judgmental, absorb new information, discover better solutions to problems, and enhance the quality of your own life as well as those you share space with.
This is a tough one, and we all struggle with it from time to time, but keep at it.  The rewards are worth the work.
May your journey be blessed, 

8 thoughts on “Avoid the Drama

  1. So the next questions are, A) how do we avoid becoming that vaccum cleaner, B) how do we help somebody who is a vaccum, and C) a great many are clueless, how do we know if we are that vaccum cleaner and try to fix it?

  2. A)The Vacuum walks into a room and starts dumping negativity instantly. She tells all what id wrong with the world, the people around her, all her physical ailments, etc. It is all about her and the negativity she is determined to share with everyone else.
    B)Distract them if you can, get her thinking about someone or something else, or some other way to get her to focus outside herself. If you fail, bug out. There's no shame in withdrawing from a losing battle.
    C)Pay attention to your own voice. Do you say the word "I" a lot? Do you use negative patterns of speech? Show interest in others, use positive speech patterns, find ways to be helpful, or to make people smile. When you make someone smile you bring energy into a room to share.

    Was this helpful? Yes? No? Maybe so?

  3. What if someone is in transition? The old self was an inadvertant vaccuum and the new self is trying not to be. At what point has venting become vaccuuming? And how do you tell them without making them feel like they are not allowed to vent and voice frustrations?

  4. A friend will always listen and comfort, but the phrase, "What's wrong?" is usually the key to opening that discussion. Everyone is allowed to dump, vent, and share, but it must be by mutual agreement. Just walking into a room and dumping is definitely bad form. 🙂

  5. True scoop, then it's on the friend to be a good listener and not get frusterated halfway through. But at the same time, the vaccuum needs to make sure it isn't the exact same endless rant.

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