Feeling Mortal

Hi Folks,
Here I am again. We took advantage of a lull in the winter weather to make a grocery run to the city. It was a real treat because it wasn’t snowing, the boats were on schedule and we didn’t have to wait more than ten minutes to get loaded. The waters were calm and I had time to relax back and reflect.

It seems I have been doing a lot of reflecting since I got so sick a few weeks ago. I really hate feeling mortal, but that has been brought home to me lately. It’s made me wonder why I push myself so hard to meet self-imposed deadlines. Like all writers, I sometimes wonder if anyone else really cares if I finish the next book or not.

After I reflect on that for a while, I realize that I am the one who actually cares and that’s why I really do it. So I am determined to keep doing it as long as I can. Hopefully something I have written will bring some joy to someone somewhere and that’s what makes it all worthwhile.

So, that’s what feeling mortal is to me; a questioning of my very reason for being, questioning the validity of the things I do and of the things that bring joy to my life. Give me a couple more weeks of recovery time and I’ll be ready to go forth and build worlds of wonder again.

Sorry for all the whining.

I said last Sunday I wouldn’t get a lot done this week, but I did manage six thousand words. That surprised me when I actually looked at the numbers. How about that?

So, this week’s target is the old favorite of ten thousand words. Wish me luck.


8 thoughts on “

  1. So sorry you were so sick, Pru! It really stinks, because it's not just the time that you're feeling so awful, but it's the catching up afterward, when you're still not 100%. Also sounds like you have that kind of malaise that I get after I'm sick. Ugh.

    I completely sympathize about keeping to a self-imposed schedule, and wondering who notices or cares. But you know you have readers, right? Don't worry about the numbers; just focus on the fact that they are there, and they notice and care about what you put out. I wish I were as prolific as you, honey! 😉

    Hang in there, and keep the faith!

  2. There must be a lot of this going around! I lost a couple of friends in the past three weeks and it sure has me feeling mortal and questioning…a lot of things. Hope you feel better soon. Being under the weather makes us feel even more out of control–so hope you kick that bug's ass-ets outta there!

  3. Pru, I certainly know what it's like to be down and sick. I have CFS. And illness will suck the creativity right out of you girl. So big kudos to you for the six thousand words this last week. So glad you had a beautiful day without snow. You've had enough. Send it our way, will you? I love your attitude my friend. I hope you have a wonderful week! 🙂

  4. Hey Karen, thanks for the pep talk, I did need it. You want our snow? Okay, we're due for another 30 centimeters (about a foot) of snow again tomorrow. I try to think of it as an exercise program. sigh.

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