Here I am again. We took advantage of a lull in the winter weather to make a grocery run to the city. It was a real treat because it wasn’t snowing, the boats were on schedule and we didn’t have to wait more than ten minutes to get loaded. The waters were calm and I had time to relax back and reflect.
It seems I have been doing a lot of reflecting since I got so sick a few weeks ago. I really hate feeling mortal, but that has been brought home to me lately. It’s made me wonder why I push myself so hard to meet self-imposed deadlines. Like all writers, I sometimes wonder if anyone else really cares if I finish the next book or not.
After I reflect on that for a while, I realize that I am the one who actually cares and that’s why I really do it. So I am determined to keep doing it as long as I can. Hopefully something I have written will bring some joy to someone somewhere and that’s what makes it all worthwhile.
So, that’s what feeling mortal is to me; a questioning of my very reason for being, questioning the validity of the things I do and of the things that bring joy to my life. Give me a couple more weeks of recovery time and I’ll be ready to go forth and build worlds of wonder again.
Sorry for all the whining.
I said last Sunday I wouldn’t get a lot done this week, but I did manage six thousand words. That surprised me when I actually looked at the numbers. How about that?
So, this week’s target is the old favorite of ten thousand words. Wish me luck.